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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23944048">broken doll</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsessionista/pseuds/Obsessionista'>Obsessionista</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Sword &amp; Shield | Pokemon Sword &amp; Shield Versions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Heavy Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:34:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,062</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23944048</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsessionista/pseuds/Obsessionista</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It was always the same. Someone would see him and take him, and toy with him, until he gets tossed out for a stupid mistake he did or a thing they disliked about him. Like a doll. A broken doll, that no one wanted to keep. Something inside him must be broken so that no one can love him. But now, he'd at least break his body to match.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>broken doll</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>wooooo i haven't posted anything here in forever huh. sorry about that!! i swear i've been writing a lot tho, just never got around to finishing something so now i'm sitting on a bunch of WIPs... but i'm trying my best to finish some of them! </p><p>anyways yeah, warnings for angst,negative thoughts and suicide. also implied rose/bede in case you're not into that, but it's pretty one-sided and lowkey here so you can just interpret it however you want.</p><p>this was originally sorta the start of an AU i had in mind, but because i wanna focus on some other stuff first idk if i'll write the rest of it. but since i had this thing here lying around half-done i decided to finish it real quick. anyways! enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The wild area was always a sight to behold, especially on a morning with a beautiful clear sky. From the bridge connecting Hammerlocke and the route leading to Stow-On-Side, it was easy to look over some of the parts of it, and to marvel at its beauty. This wasn't why a certain white-haired youth was here for, though. But he figured he could enjoy it for a brief moment.</p><p>It was likely the last hing he'd ever see, anyway, because he had his mind set on taking his own life.</p><p>He was standing on one of the stone slabs that were part of the bridge's railing. A mild breeze was playing with his hair. In the city nearby, people were probably enjoying this beautiful day in the various cafés and parks, spending time with their friends and family, like any normal person would.</p><p>However, Bede wasn't a normal person. He didn't feel much like a person at all, in fact. He felt like a failure, like something broken. It's been that way ever since Chairman Rose scolded him for destroying the mural in Stow-On-Side. But back then, he had at least a flicker of hope in his heart that the man didn't mean what he said, that he wouldn't be disqualified and tossed aside just like that.</p><p>But after he was taken to Hammerlocke, things only got worse. The chairman not only made his threat come true and revoked Bede's status as a participant in the gym challenge, but scolded him again. If it was only that, Bede wouldn't have paid much mind to it. He's been scolded plenty of times before in his life, especially as a child. It was nothing out of the ordinary for him. But back then, he also never felt that he did something wrong. Not this time however. He thought he could see a hint of pain in the chairman's eyes, hear it in his voice. Pain over Bede destroying a part of the history of his deeply beloved region, a region he cared so deeply about. It made Bede feel ashamed, pained him too.</p><p>It became clear to Bede that if he had no love for Galar, as Rose put it, Rose would have no love for him.</p><p>And without his status as a challenger, Bede had no way to try and make it up to him, at least. No way of proving that he can still be a good trainer, a good person. No way of becoming the champ, beloved by everyone, beloved by Rose.</p><p>Pathetically, he had even begged the chairman to let him stay and be of use otherwise. He could still try and collect wishing stars, assist him, anything. He'd have offered himself bare and vulnerable on a silver platter if it meant the man he adored so much would let him stay. But Rose wanted to hear nothing of it, cutting him off, and calling for league staff members to escort Bede out, the same ones that dragged him from Stow-On-Side to Hammerlocke in the first place.</p><p>And then, he was out on the street, with no place to go to. Rose clearly didn't want him around anymore. He had no family to go back to, either. And he didn't want to crawl back to that orphanage he spent most of his childhood in, either. Would they even accept him back at this point? Once they figured out what horrid thing led him to be disowned again, they'd likely tell him to leave. And even if they didn't, no one would come to adopt him anyway. No one would want to keep him.</p><p>It was always the same. Someone would see him and take him, and toy with him, until he gets tossed out for a stupid mistake he did or a thing they disliked about him. Like a doll. A broken doll, that no one wanted to keep. Something inside him must be broken so that no one can love him. But now, he'd at least break his body to match, ending this cycle.</p><p>Snapping out of his thoughts, he took a deep breath, and wanted to step forward. But his legs wouldn't move, and he found himself trembling, nervous. Bede sighed. He felt like a complete coward, too afraid to do something he's set all on to do, and to do it quick. But the sight of the world below and the cold hard ground that his body would eventually meet was paralyzing him with fear.</p><p>But he got an idea. He turned around. Instead of stepping forward and being face to face with his gruesome fate, he'd simply let himself fall backwards and focus his eyes on the sky above. It sounded much nicer to him, and he slowly relaxed. Before that though, he looked down at his feet. On the bridge, near him, lied his Pokeballs. He didn't want to risk his Pokemon getting hurt when he jumped, so he wanted to leave them here instead, in hopes that someone more worthy of them will come to pick them up one day and care for them. Someone who might take on and finish the gym challenge with them, instead of screwing up and getting disqualified.</p><p>He noticed that he subconsciously started playing with the watch around his wrist, a nervous habit of his. He raised his hand to look at the watch. Not to read the time, no, there was no need for that any more. But he gave this old gift from Rose a last glance, before taking it off and tossing it near his Pokemon.</p><p>Bede moved so his feet were at the very egde of the railing. And again, he took a deep breath, and slowly let himself topple over.</p><p>As he began to fall backwards, out of the corner of his eye he spotted something at one end of the bridge. Glancing over, he realized it was an elderly woman, dressed in pastel pink and baby blue, looking back at him with eyes widened in shock.</p><p>'Ah;' Bede thought, 'I hope I'm not ruining her morning stroll too much with this.'</p><p>And then, she was already out of his field of sight, and his feet were no longer touching the bridge. He looked up at the clear blue sky one last time, before closing his eyes and falling into the depth below.</p>
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